Having raised my child and solidified my career I moved back home and began dating after 18 years of glorious singledom. I decided to give internet dating a try as this seemed the best way to meet singles in my area and to jumpstart my social life. It would seem that nothing had changed from my early years of dating in that every man I went out with wanted to jump my bones on the first date. While this seems to be an annoyance to most women I have chatted with on various forums, to me it was a good sign that I hadn't "lost my touch". It is a known fact that women are in their sexual prime in their 40s while men in their 40s are long past their prime. Men will deny this and even argue vehemently against. I suspect there are perhaps some that have a high sex drive and can even sustain an erection for more than 15 minutes but i wouldn't call that prime. Allow me to elaborate.
First there was Tom. Tom, 46, was a good looking guy. A little on the short side for my taste but he worked out and had a very nice body. We dated for a few months and even "fell in love". The sex started off good because Tom was a great kisser and great at foreplay but Tom had "issues" with maintaining an erection. It turns out Tom had high blood pressure and was on medication that affected his "ability". This is the point where I started naming my boyfriends' members. Tom would have a great night if he was able to rest 3 or 4 days in between and one night in particular was great. I set the mood by fixing a great dinner, lots of candlelight and some good wine. During the course of this (1) hour marathon sex I named his whatsit "wildfire". You know from the song, She'll be riding wildfire. Well he certainly liked this and I was able to milk that one for a month or so. Finally, he decided some Viagra might be in order. Things might have worked out fine with Tom if he hadn't also been a narcissistic control freak.
Secondly, we have Dick. Dick, 44, was also a good looking guy. Dick wanted to get serious right away. To the exclusion of all else including someone i had just started seeing that he named "Golf Boy" because he was a golf pro and much better looking than Dick. He was a nice guy and definitely put his best foot forward in wooing me. We also dated for several months and "fell in love". Dick told me before our first sexual encounter that because he liked me so much he might be "nervous" and not to hold it against him. What Dick lacked in one area he almost made up for in others; And he was "nervous" quite often. I almost named IT Nelly. This is where I started thinking about becoming a Cougar. Dick was always trying to move in with me too. Slowly, more and more stuff started showing up at my house. When he started moving furniture in I had to end it. It was time to take a break from internet dating.
Finally, there is Harry. Harry, 45, is also good looking but could stand to lose a few lbs. Harry was my first love and we reconnected and fell in love again. Now I must say Harry, while no longer in his prime, certainly gets an A+ for effort. The first man I have ever been with that did not stop until I had my fill, even if "THOR" was not part of it. Harry used to say that his wife had not liked sex and that she thought he was a total sex maniac because he wanted it at least once every 2-3 weeks. So until Harry got with me he didn't know that "THOR" was not as thunderous as he thought.
So, I have come to the conclusion that sex with men in their 40s is not all it's cracked up to be. However, with sufficient effort on their part, this obstacle can be overcome and it is possible to move beyond sex and look for other qualities that might also make them a good life partner. LOL
***The names have been changed to protect the guilty